49th day

I have learned a little more about the significance of the number 49 in the Buddhist religion. Our friend, John, let me know that in the Buddhist belief, a person’s soul is said to either reincarnate on the 49th day after his or her death or achieve nirvana and not return to earth. John thinks that dad reached this state.

When I spoke with another friend of mine who is Buddhist, he said to Mahayana Buddhists, the Buddha was a boddhisatva, or a saint who became enlightened but who unselfishly delayed reaching nirvana to help others attain it as well. I’m not sure about either. I put the question to dad about whether he is in either state (has reached nirvana or is living again on earth), and he reminded me that Christians don’t believe this. Not that it is wrong, but it is simply a different perspective, or perhaps it's the same thing but the words themselves are different. I have to believe, then, that he is in union with God and all that is good. He is united with the power that helps us along our journey, that helps heal the sick, and who pushes us to love others. Whether that power is in us already, and that we seek nirvana in this life and live to help others achieve it as the Mahayana Buddhists believe, or whether we return to a life with God in a heaven that is everywhere, I believe that dad is not far from us, and he’ll be waiting with God when it is our turn to be called home.

October 22

We miss him every day. I have a picture of dad on my desk in front of me so that I might stop and recall what a warm and loving man he was, and so that I might press on as he did when the challenges seem unbearable.

This past week, Tony and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. On my way to work, that morning, after enjoying our morning coffee and toast, I couldn’t help myself from slipping into my happy memories of our wedding day. My eyes welled up as I thought about how much dad loved Tony and how much effort he put into making our wedding day the most joyous day possible. When I got to work, I had received a text from Tony that brought me to tears again. We had vowed, that morning, that we would stop and think of each other each hour, regardless of what crazy business we were caught up in, and we sent each other several texts throughout the day to stay true to our promise.

We both made it home just after 4pm to give us enough time to change and make our dinner reservations at 5:30. The dinner at the Wood Tavern in Rockridge was divine. The service, the food, and the beverages juxtaposed the magnificence of our actual wedding day, and by the day’s end, I was in dreamland just as I was at the end of October 22nd, four years ago. Tony even surprised me with a gift of two precious mementos of St. Francis, which now rest next to the American Flag that I was given on the day of dad’s funeral. It was a wonderful day...